When You Feel Like Quitting, Remember Why You Started
My sobriety date is November 22, 2018.
It was Thanksgiving day, and I had woken up on the pavement for like the 5th day in a row. I was homeless, and I sucked at it.
The delirium tremens and withdrawal were so intense, and I could barely put a thought together. I remember sitting there and thinking, “How did I get here?”
Before my addiction ran its course, I had dreams and goals of who I wanted to be. I had gone to college, started a company, and then a bunch of things happened out of my control, and at some point decided it would be easier to get through life trying not to feel a thing.
But this was no longer working for me. So then I asked again, “How did I get here.”
This time, I realized that the reason I was suffering was not because of what happened to me, but because I had stopped being willing to grow through it. I had gotten here, because I wanted to blame all of my decisions on what happened to me.
So I decided that day, that today is the most important day of my recovery, and I will no longer stay trapped in victim mode. I decided that I am willing to grow and leave the past behind.
I had to realize that it doesn’t matter who’s fault it is that my life hadn’t worked out so far, because my life is my responsibility.
Think about your day one, remember why you started, and leave the victim mode behind. Only you can take responsibility for your own recovery.
Hang in there. We’re in this together :)